From my draft to my final paper, I changed many things throughout. The first thing that I changed was spelling and grammar errors. I wanted to make sure that every sentence made sense with the correct wording and spelling. My last thing that I changed from my draft was adding more detail. You can never have enough detail in a paper, so I added extra and important information to give my story more depth and for it to be more intriguing. I looked over the rubric and extended paragraphs with more detail. I believe the best system of support that helped me my improve my ATTWN essay the most was between the peer review checklist and sharing my essay with an adult. The peer review helped because they helped my find spelling errors and they also helped me look over my rubric more closely to see if I was missing any requirements. I really enjoy having my mom look at my essay because she can help me with my word use and can also catch grammar errors. She can tell me if my prompt makes sense because she hasn't read the book. She can look from a different point of view to see if everything lines up in my essay. I feel that more practice will always help me to improve my writing skills. I think I have a lot of room to improve in writing this year like adding more detail. I need to make my essays and stories stronger with details. Also with adding better words. An essay always looks better when you have more complex and intelligent words instead of the basic words u may use. A goal that I have will probably be on my short story. I want to expand my imagination a little further to get a great story out.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Timed Writing Revision
For my choice read, I read the book The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. The theme of this book is within love there is tragedy.
The first detail for the theme in the book is the loving relationship between Hazel and her mom. They both love each other very much, but they have to deal with a big burden that is that Hazel has severe lung cancer. She has gotten through it for a long time and has kept strong through it all with the help of her loving, encouraging, and supportive family. Within the book, they face many challenges between one another. One of those challenges is with what to do next with her treatment. She is not progressing and her parents don't want to face the fact that she isn't, but they both keep fighting together like a true family. The last reason is with the support group. Hazel didn't want to go, but her parents insist because they think it would help through her depression. Little did they both know the support group would be the place Hazel would find her one true love. The theme is showcased within this idea by expressing the love and care that her parents have for Hazel. Through all of the struggles and tragedy they endure, they are still a strong family.
The final detail for the theme in the book is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between Hazel and Agustus Waters. Hazel and Agustus met at support group when Hazel's friend Issac brought a guest named Agustus. From the moment they met, they had an instant connection between them. After the program, he asked her if she wanted to go to his house and watch a move, and she said yes. It all started on that day. Agustus had cancer previously and lost his leg. He was now cancer free and enjoying life. Hazel and Agustus were drawn to each other and quickly became boyfriend and girlfriend. When Hazel had her episodes of not breathing well and cancer taking over her body, he was always there, right beside her. He event spent his one trip for her to meet her favorite author of all times in Amsterdam. During Amsterdam, Agustus told Hazel that his cancer had come back and that it was really bad this time. Hazel returned the favor and stuck with him through the hardest and most stressful times in their relationship. At the end of the book, Agustus unexpectedly dies tragically. Hazel is heartbroken because her love for Agustus was so strong, meaningful, and important. The theme is expressed through this detail by explaining the true love Hazel and Agustus had for each other and that nothing that ever came their way would ever tear them down, but only make them stronger.
The first detail for the theme in the book is the loving relationship between Hazel and her mom. They both love each other very much, but they have to deal with a big burden that is that Hazel has severe lung cancer. She has gotten through it for a long time and has kept strong through it all with the help of her loving, encouraging, and supportive family. Within the book, they face many challenges between one another. One of those challenges is with what to do next with her treatment. She is not progressing and her parents don't want to face the fact that she isn't, but they both keep fighting together like a true family. The last reason is with the support group. Hazel didn't want to go, but her parents insist because they think it would help through her depression. Little did they both know the support group would be the place Hazel would find her one true love. The theme is showcased within this idea by expressing the love and care that her parents have for Hazel. Through all of the struggles and tragedy they endure, they are still a strong family.
The final detail for the theme in the book is the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship between Hazel and Agustus Waters. Hazel and Agustus met at support group when Hazel's friend Issac brought a guest named Agustus. From the moment they met, they had an instant connection between them. After the program, he asked her if she wanted to go to his house and watch a move, and she said yes. It all started on that day. Agustus had cancer previously and lost his leg. He was now cancer free and enjoying life. Hazel and Agustus were drawn to each other and quickly became boyfriend and girlfriend. When Hazel had her episodes of not breathing well and cancer taking over her body, he was always there, right beside her. He event spent his one trip for her to meet her favorite author of all times in Amsterdam. During Amsterdam, Agustus told Hazel that his cancer had come back and that it was really bad this time. Hazel returned the favor and stuck with him through the hardest and most stressful times in their relationship. At the end of the book, Agustus unexpectedly dies tragically. Hazel is heartbroken because her love for Agustus was so strong, meaningful, and important. The theme is expressed through this detail by explaining the true love Hazel and Agustus had for each other and that nothing that ever came their way would ever tear them down, but only make them stronger.
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